Welp, I just lost the will to live...

I was cruising a Titanic message board recently, when I found about an animated movie set on the Ol' Millionaires' Special. Except... well... look.


The plot is thus:

This one's plot involves an evil whale hunter, Baron Van Der Tilt, who wants to marry Elizabeth, the daughter of a rich industrialist, so he can somehow gain control of his company. When Elizabeth's father learns she is in love with a gypsy he cancels the marriage; which infuriates the Baron who then decides he will force him to sign the papers at gun's point and then sink the ship to cover his traces. Thanks to a magic flute that allows him to talk to animals, the Baron enlists the aid of a bunch of sharks who in turn convince a not so smart giant squid (I'm talking Dead Man's Chest large here) to prove its great strength by hurling icebergs, that were lying at the bottom of the ocean (...) seemingly about a couple hundred meters below, at the Titanic. One of them hits the ship of course and Elizabeth and her lover must now save their lives but fortunately they're helped by a bunch of rats whom they can talk to thru her magic hearings. The giant squid, realizing a lot of people will die, redeems itself by holding the Titanic afloat, even after she broke in two (between the second and third funnel!), giving everybody aboard enough time to escape in lifeboats.

...wow.

I've seen some really, really, REALLY bad ideas regarding the Titanic before, but this one just takes the cake and shoves it down your throat. I think it all speaks for itself. For more information, as well as where I took the above material from, check out this thread at Encyclopedia Titanica:

I leave you now with the coup de grade: The Titanic/Free Willy crossover.